i am not myself today. last night i received unexpected and unhappy news. i am trying to remain optimistic and upbeat but isn't it crazy how things can happen-- just like that? i've re-written this post about ten times... all i can say is i am grateful for my family, my friends and my fiance, who helps me calm down when i start to worry. i hope to hear some good news soon and thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.